You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
I discovered this song on November 9, the day that Leonard Cohen, and my hopes for the presidential election of 2016, died. It was so difficult to believe that so many people could vote for the lies, mysogny, and racism of Trump. Of course, the volumes that have been and will be written about it will slide toward infinity.
I cannot spend more time or energy thinking about it, except to say that this odd little song gives me hope. I remember seeing the movie Sansom and Delilah when I was a kid, and how, after realizing she had betrayed him, he found enough strength to pull down the palace around him. What a funny, silly movie, but Victure Mature, his muscles straining, was magnificent to my young mind. Yes, I thought. Yes.
So, even if it all falls down around us, if it all goes to shit, I can still find room to say I did my best, it wasn’t much and that is why I can stand and say Hallelujah, for myself and for those I love.